Life After Amputation

Hello again. Six months ago I had my leg amputated (high above the knee) and stopped blogging. I'm sorry for the silence. A lot has happened in these past months. In this post, I'm going to bring you up to speed with my life's detour.

Amputation is a life-changing surgery. It often imposes drastic physical limitations accompanied by psychological trauma and emotional discomfort. A large number of amputees experience the phenomenon of phantom limb sensation and phantom pains. Unfortunately, I was no exception. The phantom limb sensation was there as soon as I opened my eyes after the amputation. The feeling that my leg was still there was almost unbearable. I remember praying to God, begging for endurance and for His mercies. Fortunately, the limb sensation has subsided substantially over time. The phantom pains are also a major challenge. It's not unusual to feel my amputated foot or knee tingling, burning and/or itching - more tingling and burning than itching. I'm on two strong medications for nerve pain. It's working well and the pain is more sporadic these days. It's a trade-off. The side effects are very strong. There is a variety of them but I'm mostly feeling these: fatigue, dry mouth, occasional drowsiness, and some cognitive challenges. 

I'll state the obvious; it's not easy to live a normal life without a leg. The adjustment is quite challenging yet not impossible. Over the last six months, I've done things using crutches that convinced me the human body is a marvelous machine with the ability to adjust and overcome any obstacle. I'm putting here a few pictures of some of my exciting accomplishments (Sand Soccer, Cycling, Ping-pong, Bowling, Weight Lifting, Preaching, Baptizing, etc.)

What's next? Thanks for asking :-) I've been patiently waiting for my next surgery, an Osseointegration, which will set me up for a prosthesis. In simple terms, an OI is an implant which will go on my femur to allow for a simple, safe and quick connection between my stump and the lower prosthesis. The approvals have been granted. Now the process moves into manufacturing the implant, then testing it before scheduling the surgery. I'm hoping to go into surgery sometime before the end of the year. 

All in all the Lord has been good to me. The road sometimes looks very bumpy and the detour hard to endure. But I'm a living testimony that in those difficult days and times Jesus' gentle and comforting presence makes all the difference. He is our "El Roi", the God who sees.

If you've been searching for answers, for peace, trying to make sense of your life's detour, I invite you to put your trust in Jesus. Remember, you are never alone, ever.

The Bible text for you this time is Psalm 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

I love a song by Kari Jobe called I Am Not Alone. I hope it blesses you as it has blessed me.

Last family picture before my amputation.

Always Together

Thank you!

I am writing this post exactly 12 hours before my arrival time at the hospital. I am in peace at the moment but it is beginning to sink in. I hope to have a peaceful night of sleep and be well rested in the morning.

The main reason I am taking time to write this post is to thank each one of you for amazing words of encouragement and for your intercessory ministry on my behalf. I have read each message on the comments below, Facebook page, WhatsApp, emails, etc., that came literally from all over the world. I have been overwhelmed by so much love and care. I know God will honor your faith and requests for me and my family. Thank you!

Today my boys stayed home with me. The weather was great and we spent a lot of time outside playing ball. We went to two parks near our home and played for approximately four hours (2hrs of basketball and 2hrs of Soccer). I know there will be significant physical limitations from now on but I am not planning to quit. This is just a detour, not retirement. 

Playing with my boys this morning and enjoying their company was so special. It made me think of how little attention we pay to the things that matter most in life. Why do we get so busy with our own stuff and all kinds of temporary matters and neglect time with those we love more than anything on this planet... My boys just left. They are spending the night at a friend's home. I'll see them again on Sabbath afternoon. They said goodbye to me and my leg. They seem to be okay. I hope they are. I hope my detour teaches them that God is good, all the time, and can be trusted, no matter what.

My bible text for today is a bit long but it conveys the thoughts of my heart as I embrace the challenging days ahead with confidence in a God who is "too wise to err and too good to be unkind" (Spurgeon).

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ^... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35, 37-39.

A Major Detour

It is time to blog again. Yes, I am facing another detour. Since my first diagnosis in 2011 the roads of life have not been straight any more. Many curves, several detours and one more, a MAJOR one, is just around the corner.

Unfortunately I'm out of remission; my sarcoma is growing, multiplying fast and the only feasible treatment this time around is a drastic one. Therefore, it is with sadness that I share with you that I am going into surgery on Friday, April 27, to have my left leg amputated (above the knee).
 
I knew this day could come. I am thankful for skilled surgeons who performed several limb-sparing surgeries for these past seven years. I am grateful to God for having allowed me to have my leg and live a normal life in spite of the cancer being persistent and destructive, and, most importantly, for not allowing the cancer to spread.

It is a life changing surgery and I can only imagine what life is going to be like in a few days. Yet I am confident in the strength and determination that comes from God to be able to conquer another mountain and go through yet another detour.

Doctors are planning for two surgeries, the first to get rid of the cancer and a second one, in the summer, to set me up for a prosthetic leg.

I debated a lot whether I should be blogging again about my detour. It won’t be easy this time. But God helped me to realize that I should not keep this journey to myself. Maybe there is someone reading this and going through a detour in their life as well and they can be a blessing to me. Or, maybe, I could encourage someone. I don't know. But I am looking forward to what God will accomplish in my life and in the life of many others as I share my personal experience with sorrow, pain, faith and hope.

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers.

“Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Psalm 27
 
**Each post will have a bible verse that has encouraged me.